Christmas Elf

This year’s christmas was especially special for Nick and I. You can guess why – it was the first year we celebrated it as parents!! For 8 years, I prayed every year to have a baby byΒ next christmas. Every new years eve, I would wish for a baby in the coming year. I remember last year’s new years’ eve, hoping that it would be our last childless. For a big part of 2014, I would hope that it was my last childless birthday, easter, mother’s day, 4th of july, etc.

So this year, was the best christmas ever! Even though Alexander is only 3 months old, it was still amazing to see it through his eyes. He loves lights, especially christmas lights on christmas trees. He loves christmas music, which is awesome, because so does his mommy. All of our family was super excited for christmas this year. He got so many hugs, kisses and gifts! His whole room is full of toys – and he loves them. We finally got the big desk moved out and put up all his toys in a play area! πŸ™‚ I look forward to spending many hours on the floor playing with him and watching him play and learn as the years come.

We all know the song from Mariah Christmas “All I want for Christmas is You”… that’s how I approached this year’s entire holiday season. Every year prior to this one, I would have things I’d want for christmas. This was the first year where I didn’t want anything but Alexander. I had no wishes for gifts… Since I had to come up with one, I told ppl to get me Apple Gift Cards since I am getting my new iphone on January 10th (so excited). So that’s what I got… πŸ™‚ Anyhow, I mean to say that this was the first year where I completely understood what it meant to celebrate christmas with everything you’d ever want to have. There is nothing I will need to my life’s end. For the first time in almost a decade I am completely content with my life. I have achieved everything I have ever put my mind to – finding a partner for life, who also happens to be my best friend, relocating myself to the United States from Europe, starting and finishing school, starting my career in Human Resources and fighting for almost 8 years to become a mother. I never thought after discovering our infertility issues that I’d ever have a christmas as a mother. I am so happy that this year’s our wish finally came true. We are finally a family – a family that can start it own traditions for the holidays. A family that has a bond like no other unit. I am the happiest mother in the world to the most beautiful little boy. Alexander, you made the cutest christmas elf this year. I love you to the moon and back. You are my sunshine, always! ❀

Next year, christmas will be so different – Alexander will be 15 months old and I can’t wait to see christmas through his eyes. Life is going to change significantly until then, once he starts rolling over, crawling and then walking… oh boy. I can’t wait!

I hope everyone else had a great christmas as well. There are several friends that have had babies this year and I know it was extra special for them as well. There are several people I know through my blog and facebook groups that are still waiting for their miracles, and I hope that yours will come soon. I know the heartache and the emotions, but I promise you that it is all worth it. There are 2 special friends who have tried to become parents and suffered losses. Both are currently pregnant and I couldn’t be happier for them. I pray for you both every day and I can’t wait to meet your miracle babies!

On a more serious note, I have also thought about Alexander’s birthmother this season. We have been in sporadic contact with facebook and text messages. I am writing more than I am receiving, which is fine, I just hope that she will become a part of his life in the future. She has not responded to any of my messages or his updates since the beginning of christmas. Whatever she’s up to, wherever she is, there is not a day that goes by where I don’t think of her and the gift that she gave us. Alexander reminded me of her the other day, he smiled at me and I totally saw her face in his. I really hope that when she said she wanted an open adoption that she meant it.


Whoa! Where did the time go?

Whoa, where did the time go??? It’s already Alexander’s 3 month birthday! WOW… He’s growing so fast and I can see the world through his eyes more and more. I love discovering new things with him and seeing him learn every second. I love how every day he seems to pick up something new or displays a new behavior. He is such a joy to be around and I love how his personality is coming out more and more. He is such a happy baby – very smiley and loving. He is also very calm and content whenever we go out. People around us always comment on it. Some can’t understand how he is just happy and content when I get my nails done or when Nick and I go out for dinner. He is so sweet and happy. I hope he stays that way. πŸ™‚

I am going to start listing things that Alex does every month so I don’t forget them:

– Alexander, you hate tummy time. You seem to do fine with it for about 30 seconds until you scream your little head off. However, I am happy to say that your neck is very strong and you have been holding your head up steady since about Thanksgiving, which is awesome.

– You love to be cooed and giggled at, in return you giggle and coo back to me. I love the sounds that are coming out of you and your smile melts my heart. I love how your smile transforms your whole body – its not just your mouth that smiles, its your eyes, your whole face and your body. On the opposite, when you cry, the whole world cries because its so loud and you again put your whole body into it. πŸ™‚

– You have started to sleep through the night, very much to my delight. You scream for bloody hell around 9/9:30 PM – so I feed you and then we start getting ready for bed. You are such a good sleeper, as long as your sound spa and your soothing monkey are in the room, you fall asleep and stay asleep until the next morning around 7/8 am. πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

– You are working on wanting to sit up already. I have noticed a few weeks back that you are trying to lift your head out of the car seat…. then we noticed you doing it more and more until someone asked if you’re trying to sit up. So I think that part is in our very near future.

– You absolutely love your activity gym and you’ve started to grab for some of your toys. Certain ones, you hang on for dear life to them. You are in love with owls and you absolutely love your smoothing monkey toy that plays music to you every night. Its absolutely adorable to see your face light up whenever you see and recognize the toys.

– Alexander, I love it when I come into your room every morning and you smile as soon as you see and recognize me. Its the most beautiful moment I have every day. I am so excited when I hear you wake up that my heart skips a beat and I know I get to see you. I love spending time with you every second of every day. I love watching you sleep and seeing you smile or suck on your binkie.

I look forward to see what the next month will bring. You are growing up so fast!!! We are so blessed and happy to have you. ❀

Adoption Update: 2nd Post-Placement Visit

A few weeks ago we had our 2nd post-placement visit for Alexander, this time at the agency. The 1st visit was at our house with our Social Worker Jill. It was a great experience to see other families that just went through the same experience as us. We always heard about these meetings at the agency when we talked to our Adoption Counselors and Social Worker. While at the agency when we first signed up and had subsequent meetings before Alexander was even on our radar, we always saw the pictures of all the kids on the couch during those post-placement visits. It was really important to us to be a part of that picture wall. Well, little Alexander is now a part of the wall. πŸ™‚ He was very good for the whole visit and even had sparked a lady’s interest. As you can see in the pictures, little Sophia is holding his hand and looking at him in all the pictures. She was completely enamored with him. He unfortunately could have cared less. He wanted nothing to do with her nor did he care. He was asleep in less than 5 minutes. lol ❀ I hope that he will show a little more interest in the future. πŸ™‚ Poor Sophia!

As far as the adoption is concerned, all is moving forward. We have received notice from our lawyer that all parental rights have been terminated and filed with the court. All we have left is wait until March 24th for the adoption decree. There is one more post-placement visit in February and thats it. πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

This whole experience, while frustrating, mind blowing, emotional, and everything in between has been such a blessing. We are so lucky to have gone through this process so quick and smoothly. We couldn’t have asked for a better social worker, adoption counselor or birthmother. Everything came together perfectly. We are incredibly lucky to have Alexander and I think god every day!

Alexander’s Baptism

Sunday December 7th was a very important day in our family – it was a day I never thought would ever come in our lives: The Baptism of our SON Alexander Branden James. A few weeks before the baptism, we became official members of our new church, so this was perfect timing for Alex’s baptism. It was a great day with family. We were so happy that everyone made it out. Alexander got showered with well wishes, blessings, hugs, kisses and lots of gifts. He is one lucky little man. Everyone loves him so much and is so happy for him to grow into his own person with the love of god and his family.

May god bless you always my sweet son. We love you so much and we are thankful for you every second of every day until our last breath. God is good. He gave us you. The best gift ever.

1st Saint Nick’s Day

December 6th is Saint Nikolaus’ Day. Growing up in Europe, that meant presents as a child. Usually Saint Nick came to one of our family members house in the evening with his side kick Knecht Ruprecht (he was there to scare us if we were naughty and gave you dirty looks and threats). The whole family would gather and await their arrival. When Saint Nick came in, all of us kids would gather and tell Saint Nick our poem and how good we were. He would always give us gifts. Usually small Cloth-bags with Walnuts, Oranges and Chocolate Santas. Our parents and grand parents would usually give us money or small pre-christmas gifts like underwear, socks, etc. Usually something practical. A lot of other families I know celebrate Saint Nikolaus Day by putting the gifts in the kids’ shoes outside of their room and give it to them as soon as they rise in the morning (by putting the gifts in their shoes outside of their room).

I decided to celebrate Saint Nikolaus Day for Alexander starting this year. Since he doesn’t wear shoes yet, I put everything in a gift bag for him. I put him in the mamaroo and showed him the bag. He is too young yet to tear open the tissue or wrapping paper. So I opened it and we read the books and he started petting his Rudolph. πŸ™‚

Frohen Ersten Nikolaus mein Schatz! We love you so much ❀ ❀ ❀

Oh Christmas Tree

As we try to set into a routine with little Alexander, we also want to make our own memories as a family of tree and with that start our own traditions. So this year, I thought it would be a great idea to head over to Macy’s in downtown Chicago (really, us Chicagoans still call it Marshall Fields’ or Fields’) to the Walnut Room. It’s usually very busy, no matter what day of the week or time of the day you come, so you just have to bite the bullet and get a pager. Thankfully, you can be anywhere in the building until its your time to get to your table. And then they give you plenty of time to come back. We got there and knew that we had about 1.5 hs until our table was ready, so we decided to go see Santa. Alex was sleeping and in a good mood once we walked into Santaland. He didn’t cry when Santa held him, nor did he smile. He was just content. I guess thats all I can ask for out of an 11 week old. πŸ™‚

After we visited with Santa, it was our time for our table and we headed back up. I knew that Alex would be hungry soon, but once he was back in the stroller, he fell back asleep. Well…. let’s just say that didn’t last very long. As soon as our food came out, he had a complete meltdown. Nothing helped. No binky, no bottle, no diaper change. He was in full-on-screaming mode. We ended up eating in shifts while the other hung out with Alexander in the hallway by the bathrooms trying to calm Alexander down. Of course, when we were done eating, he was happy and took his bottle. By the time we left, he was calm and happy again. I am not sure if this is something we’ll do every year. It pretty much took all day to get to the city, see Santa, eat in the Walnut Room and then head home in Rush Hour traffic. Maybe every other year… We’ll see.

The christmas tree in the Walnut Room is really the coolest thing of the whole experience. It changes colors every few minutes and its HUGE… as in 3 stories high. And its BEAUTIFUL. The food in the Walnut Room is good as well, its not cheap, but the tree is really why you come. πŸ™‚